I'm not that kind of doctor

Warning: This is a rant. It likely has no value to anyone else but me.

I hate going to the doctor. It's not because I'm squeamish (though I am, a bit) or a phobia or stepping onto those lying scales or anything like unto it. It's the fact that every time I go to the doctor because of a persistent or worrisome condition that I can't diagnose myself, the response is invariably "Hmmm" or "Nope, nothing's wrong. Try Advil". That's worth the co-pay.

Back in June I had tonsilitis (something that I COULD diagnose based on the swollen tonsils with nasty white spots) and they gave me some antibiotics and the fever and nastiness went away. However, for the last three months, I've felt like I've had something stuck in my throat and my tonsils have still been a bit swollen. It makes wearing a necktie and singing the high notes especially uncomfortable. So, maybe five weeks ago I went back to my PCP(CNP) with the $30 copay and she said "'Hmmm'--here are some more antibiotics". Those didn't do diddly (they didn't even make my urine smell funny), so she referred me to an otorhinolaryngologist (ENT). So, I called and said "I want to see the ENT ASAP, OK?". Then the lady said, "No way, José" (she didn't really say those exact words--this is called "poetic license"). They had an availability a month later (good thing ear, nose and throat problems aren't serious or anything), which was Friday. So, I took the morning off, went to the hospital, paid my $40 copay and was led into the little room. To his credit, the doctor was punctual. It didn't take long to see why. I think that visit cost me $15/minute. The $70 diagnosis: There's nothing wrong with my throat that feels like it has something stuck in it. Try Zantac.

At least I got to stick my tongue out at him.